Cruising Online

Cruising online for casual sex or possible relationship partners has become so popular that more than half of Australian gay men now report that they use online chat sites. For HIV-positive gay men, chat sites can be a mixed bag. Chat websites are significant sites of stigmatising and discriminatory behaviour by HIV-negative men, but they have also created a space where HIV-positive men can meet other positive partners easily.

Many HIV-negative men openly avoid contact with positive men on chat sites and the use of terms like ‘I’m clean, you should be too’ on chat profiles stigmatises and discriminates against positive men in very public and visible ways. The use of this sort of stigmatising language in chat environments can reinforce attitudes that an ‘us and them’ divide based on serostatus is acceptable.

If you plan to use chat sites, be prepared for this sort of behaviour. Don’t let it get you down, and if someone gives you trouble, report it to the site – most sites have a facility for reporting inappropriate behaviour. Some guys prefer sites that are specifically set up for HIV-positive people.

On a brighter note, many positive men find that chat sites can make it easier to find other positive men, and poz-friendly negative men. Positive men are usually good at understanding the coded ways that other positive guys construct their profiles to indicate HIV positive status, such as leaving the HIV field empty, or selecting ‘Needs Discussion’ in the safe sex preference field. Most experienced HIV-negative chat users would also understand this code, however as some may not, it is best to check about any assumptions about HIV status before unprotected sex.